Why I Do Laundry on Saturday?

I find myself once again embroiled in a heated debate with my father about my responsibilities around the house. Today, I am ranting about the laundry, specifically my lack of involvement in it. My father is reprimanding me for not helping out, but I have my reasons. So I have a simple question, one that seemed innocent enough at the time. "Why do we do the laundry on Thursdays?" I asked, my curiosity piqued by the seemingly arbitrary choice of laundry day. Little did I know that this question would set off a chain of events that would lead to heated arguments and hurt feelings. 

You see, Thursdays are the days when my mum, who usually handles the laundry, has a shift at her remote job. It seems counterintuitive to me – why do the laundry on a day when she's already juggling work commitments? Perhaps there is a reason behind the choice of Thursdays that I am not aware of, but for now, it remains a mystery to me. The laundry schedule may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but it has unexpectedly brought underlying tensions to the surface. But then again, perhaps I'm missing something. Perhaps there's a reason behind this seemingly illogical choice. 

In the past four months, while my mum was away in a distant province, I took it upon myself to handle the laundry duties every Saturday. From loading the automatic washing machine in the early morning to hanging clothes out to dry at midday and folding them by nightfall, I tackled the task with diligence and determination. After all, I pride myself on being responsible and reliable when it comes to household chores. This newfound responsibility has allowed me to appreciate the effort and time that goes into maintaining a well-kept home. It has also given me a sense of accomplishment and independence as I successfully manage this task on my own. 

But despite my efforts, there was always one recurring source of frustration – my dad's insistence that I should do the laundry on Sundays. It seemed that no matter how diligently I stuck to my routine, he was always eager to disrupt it, all in the name of assigning tasks to my lazy brother.  My father wanted me to do the laundry on Sundays so that my younger brother could participate, even though he had school on Saturdays. I objected to this proposal. I didn't mind taking care of all aspects of the laundry. So, we came to an arrangement: I would take charge of laundering white clothing, and my brother would handle coloured items. 

You see, as someone on the autism spectrum, I thrive on routine and predictability. I find comfort in knowing what to expect, and in being able to plan my days down to the last minute. So when my dad insists on shaking things up, it feels like a direct assault on my sense of order and stability. I find it incredibly frustrating when someone tries to change my routine. It throws me off balance and causes unnecessary stress. That's why I made sure to negotiate a compromise when it came to the laundry duties - sticking to what works best for me. Those around me need to understand and respect my need for consistency.

And so, in an attempt to avoid the inevitable confrontation that would arise on Sunday morning, I made a decision – I would attend church in person for worship, effectively removing myself from the equation when it came to laundry duties. After all, Sunday is meant to be a day of rest and reflection, a day set aside for spiritual rejuvenation. The last thing I want is to spend it embroiled in arguments over household chores.  Instead, I would rather focus on connecting with my faith and finding peace within myself.  I could always use some time to recharge and unwind.

But what irks me the most is my father's perception that I spend my entire week idling away when, in reality, I engage in rigorous art production from Mondays to Fridays. In truth, creating artwork is essential for me; it serves as both therapy and vocation while awaiting acceptance into my desired employment role. Yet, unfortunately, my father fails to acknowledge its significance, dismissively viewing it as an unimportant hobby rather than a serious undertaking worthy of respect. This misunderstanding often leads to tension between us, as I struggle to convey the importance of my artistic pursuits. 

What he fails to understand is that art is more than just a hobby for me – it's a passion, a calling, a vocation. As an aspiring artist, I pour my heart and soul into my creative endeavours, treating them with the same level of seriousness and dedication as any nine-to-five job. While I'm waiting for my job application to be accepted, I will spend my time on my creative endeavours, honing my skills and working towards my dream of making a career out of my art. I hope that with time, my father will come to see the value and significance of my artistic pursuits, and we can find common ground in our differing perspectives. 

So when my dad suggested that I should devote my Saturdays to working on my art projects, I couldn't help but feel a surge of anger and frustration. After all, Saturday – or "Shabbat," as I like to call it – is my designated day of rest, a day set aside for relaxation and rejuvenation. I religiously observed Saturday as my free day like the Jews and Sabbatarian Christians did, as I learned it from the Bible itself. I hold fast to the principle that Saturdays are meant to be enjoyed free from the burdens of work and obligation. This day of rest allows me to recharge and focus on my spiritual well-being.

The fact that Saturday is my free time and rest day explains why I choose to do laundry on Saturdays while Church days are on Sundays, and it will be reversed as well, as I dedicate weekends to have a break from my creative endeavours. Contrary to what the Pharisees thought, resting on Shabbat doesn't necessarily mean complete inactivity or total disengagement, as if, too much laziness. Jesus clarifies that in the Gospels by emphasising the importance of doing good deeds and acts of kindness on this day. This aligns with my belief that rest should also involve activities that nourish the soul and bring joy to others. 

I understand why my dad had that kind of thinking. You see, while my parents identify as Roman Catholics and adhere to the traditional Sunday worship, I have chosen to embrace Protestantism as it is more Biblically adherent. My way of choosing Saturday as my day of rest is based on the Bible, which indicates that Shabbat is on Saturday and that Sunday worship is just an invention of Roman Catholicism. While I respect their beliefs and traditions, I cannot help but feel a sense of disconnect, a sense that I am the odd one out in a family that values conformity and tradition above all else.

In the end, I suppose this is just another chapter in the ongoing saga of family dynamics and interpersonal relationships. We all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies, our beliefs and values that shape the way we interact with the world around us. And while these differences may sometimes lead to friction and conflict, they also serve to remind us of the richness and diversity of the human experience. Perhaps, in the end, that's something worth celebrating – even if it means navigating the occasional laundry-related skirmish along the way. After all, those differences are what make life interesting and unique. 

A Fanatic of Super-Cleanliness Bugs Me a Lot

It seems like every time I step into the house, I'm greeted with the same overbearing atmosphere, filled with tension and a sharpness that's hard to ignore. This, of course, comes from my mum, whose aggressive stance on cleanliness has become a source of constant frustration. Let me be clear, I'm not here to bad-mouth my mum or paint her as some sort of villain. No, this is more of a therapeutic rant, a formal airing of grievances, if you will. I'm just sick of her aggressiveness, especially when it comes to how she keeps the house.

You see, my mum has an almost fanatical devotion to cleanliness. Everything has to be in its place, not a speck of dust or a stray crumb in sight. It sounds admirable, and to some extent, it is. But living with someone who demands absolute perfection can be suffocating. One little mistake, one tiny oversight, and she's off, frustrated and angry. It's as if the world is ending because there’s a fingerprint on the fridge door or a smudge on the mirror. It's exhausting to constantly walk on eggshells and strive for unattainable perfection.

Now, here's the thing. If my mum wants the house to remain as spotless as she keeps it, perhaps she should have had a daughter instead. From my observations, girls seem to have a natural flair for maintaining that level of cleanliness. They can keep things tidy and pristine in a way that seems almost effortless. But what did she end up with? A husband and two sons. There's me, an artist, and my brother, who, to put it mildly, is quite arrogant. My mum has two sons, one who is utterly indifferent to her standards, and another who lives in a world of creativity and chaos.

Being an artist, my room is always a bit of a mess. Not the kind of mess that comes from laziness or neglect, but a maximalist vibe that symbolises hard work and dedication to my craft. An artist's room isn't supposed to be that super immaculate; it's a space where creativity thrives amidst a bit of what you perceive as a disorder. Yes, there are paint splatters on the floor and canvases propped up against the walls. Art supplies are scattered around, but everything is well organised and has its place in the grand scheme of my creative process.

My room is a testament to my passion. It's filled with art materials - brushes, paints, sketchpads, and a myriad of other tools of the trade. To an outsider, it might look like chaos, but to me, it’s organised "chaos". I know where everything is, and there's a method to that "madness". Each colour splatter tells a story, and each brushstroke is a part of my journey as an artist. It's a maximalist haven where inspiration and hard work come together. In this space, I can truly be myself and let my creativity flow freely.

Many years ago, there once was a room of mine that I organised and made convenient for artists like me by letting the art materials be on display so that I could use them at ease without finding where I hid them. That was while my mum was in another country for work just yet. But this room is changed to an atrium as my room is moved to the second storey of the house, overlooking the garden. The new space is filled with natural light and fresh air, providing a different kind of inspiration for my work as an artist. 

One thing is clear which is no matter how neat and organised I keep my art materials, an artist's room will never meet my mum's standards of cleanliness. To her, a clean room is one where nothing is out of place, where surfaces are clear, and everything shines. The maximalist vibe of an artist's studio is a far cry from the sterile perfection she demands. And that's a major point of contention between us. It's all part of the process and helps fuel my creativity in ways a perfectly tidy space never could. 

My mum needs to accept that she’s the only female in the house. With a husband who does D-I-Y at the garage and two sons who have very different priorities, she has to lower her standards of cleanliness. It’s not that we don’t care about the house or don’t appreciate her efforts. It’s just that we live differently. I need my space to create, to let my imagination run wild without the constant pressure of maintaining an unrealistic level of tidiness. My mental well-being and productivity need to have a space that reflects my unique way of working. 

If my mum can't come to terms with this, then she has no choice but to accept, endure, and wait until I can settle into my place. That's why I'm in such a hurry to get a job. I need to move out, to find a space where I can live and work without the constant clash over cleanliness. I need a place that can accommodate my creative process without the looming threat of frustration and anger over a bit of mess. I believe that once I have my own space, my mental well-being will improve significantly, allowing me to be more productive and focused on my work.

I respect my mum’s dedication to cleanliness, I truly do. But her aggressive approach has made our home a battlefield. It’s not just about the physical state of the house; it’s about the emotional toll it takes on all of us. Every time she lashes out over something minor, it chips away at our relationship. It's hard to feel at ease in a place where perfection is the only acceptable standard. I long for a home where we can all feel comfortable and accepted, regardless of the level of cleanliness. Finding a balance between order and relaxation is essential for a harmonious living environment. 

I imagine a future where I have my studio, a space designed for creativity, where the mess is a sign of productivity and passion, not something to be ashamed of. I dream of a place where I can work late into the night without worrying about waking up to a tirade about the state of my room. A place where I can breathe easy and let my art flourish. A space where I can truly be myself and express my ideas freely without judgment. A sanctuary where my creativity can thrive and my imagination can run wild. 

My mum may say that it doesn't work that way especially when I have a wife. Well, I rather be a hermit for the rest of my life than marry a girl as nagging and as aggressive as her. I value my peace and independence too much to sacrifice it for a relationship that doesn't allow me to fully be myself. I will continue to seek out a space where I can truly thrive and create without limitations. I believe that finding a balance between personal freedom and companionship is possible. Ultimately, I am committed to staying true to myself and my passions, no matter what challenges may come my way. 

In the meantime, I try to find a balance. I do my best to keep things reasonably tidy, to avoid unnecessary confrontations. But it’s a delicate dance, one where I constantly feel on edge, never quite sure if I’ve done enough to avoid the next outburst. It's exhausting, and it's taking a toll on my mental health and my ability to create. I long for the day when I can escape this constant state of unease and truly feel at peace in my own space. Until then, I will continue to navigate this challenging situation with resilience and determination. 

I know my mum means well. Her aggression comes from a place of care, and a desire to maintain a home that she's proud of. But she needs to understand that her standards are not the only way to live. There’s beauty in the chaos, in the vibrant mess of an artist's space. There’s life and energy in a room that’s filled with creative tools and unfinished projects. I need to find a balance between honouring her wishes and staying true to myself. I will work towards creating a space that reflects both her values and my unique style. 

My mum’s insistence on absolute cleanliness is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It doesn’t work for our family dynamic, and it’s causing more harm than good. She needs to find a way to let go, to accept that not everything has to be perfect. Finding a compromise that respects her need for cleanliness while also allowing for some messiness is essential for maintaining harmony in our home. By setting boundaries and communicating openly, we can find a balance that works for everyone. 

So, here I am, ranting in a formal tone, hoping to convey just how sick am I of my mum's aggressiveness. It's not easy living in a constant state of tension, but I’m doing my best to cope. I’m working hard to find a job, save up and eventually move out. Until then, I’ll keep trying to balance my need for a creative space with her need for cleanliness.  It's a delicate dance, but we'll figure it out. I know that eventually, we will find a solution that works for both of us. In the meantime, I'll continue to express my feelings and work towards a compromise. 

In conclusion, I appreciate everything she does for our family. But her aggressive stance on cleanliness is something I can't live with forever. I hope she can find a way to understand that a bit of mess isn't the end of the world. It’s a sign of life, of creativity, and of a home that’s lived in. And as I work towards my future, I hope we can find a way to coexist peacefully, without the constant battle over the state of the house. I value her dedication to cleanliness, but I also hope she can see the value in a little messiness from time to time. It's all about finding a balance that works for both of us. 

Early Supper = Early to Bed = Early to Rise

For the past few months, I have been diligently working on establishing a new night-time routine. Every evening, as I wait for my tea supper, I find myself nodding off, unable to keep my eyes open. It is already dark outside, and I make sure to go to bed early, having my tea at 7 pm so that I can fall asleep by 8 pm. At first glance, this may seem like a small change, but it holds great significance for me. You see, I am on the cusp of adulthood, and I need to prepare myself for the responsibilities that come with it. Soon, I will be standing on my own two feet, and I must get accustomed to waking up early, just as I will need to do when I secure employment after graduation.

My mother has taken notice of my new habit and has expressed her concerns. During our recent supper, she gently reprimanded me for going to bed too early. "You need to adjust," she said. But I respectfully disagreed, explaining that I didn't want to risk disturbing the delicate balance I had worked so hard to achieve.  I was confident that my new bedtime routine was crucial for my overall well-being and productivity. I assured her that I would find a way to balance my early bedtime with other responsibilities and that I appreciated her concern. My mother nodded understandingly, acknowledging my determination to prioritise self-care. 

For several months now, I have been painstakingly building a reliable internal alarm clock. Ever since my mother went to the province in January, I made it a point to wake up early, around 6 am, sometimes even earlier at 4 am, all without the aid of any external alarms. This has not been easy, but I persisted, determined to prove to myself that I could rely on my body's natural rhythms instead of relying on technology to jolt me out of slumber. And after weeks of practice, I finally achieved my goal. Now, I wake up feeling refreshed and energized, ready to start my day with a sense of accomplishment. 

Waking up early is crucial to me because I believe that being forced awake by an alarm clock causes unnecessary stress and discomfort. Have you ever noticed how your nose feels stuffy or runny when you are abruptly awakened? I certainly have, and I cannot abide by it. I was born with allergic rhinitis, and any disruption to my sleep can trigger uncomfortable symptoms. By establishing a consistent wake-up routine, I have been able to manage my allergies better and start my day on a positive note. This simple change has made a significant difference in my overall well-being and productivity. 

I refuse to let anything disrupt my peaceful, restorative sleep. After all, isn't getting enough quality sleep essential to our overall health and well-being? I have found that waking up naturally allows me to start my day feeling more refreshed and energised. By listening to my body's cues, I can wake up feeling more in tune with myself and ready to take on the day.  Additionally, I have noticed a decrease in my stress levels and an improvement in my mental clarity throughout the day. Prioritising quality sleep has truly been a game-changer for me in terms of overall health and wellness. 

Many people share my sentiment, which is why students often dread waking up early for school as if it's been their mortal enemy. That's why they anticipate class suspensions every time there is a bad weather forecast, hoping for a much-needed reprieve from their early morning alarms. The struggle to balance the demands of school with the need for adequate rest is a common challenge for many students. Students must recognize the importance of quality sleep in maintaining their overall well-being and academic performance. Implementing healthy sleep habits can lead to improved focus, memory retention, and overall productivity throughout the day. 

As I continue to fine-tune my internal clock, I realise that consistency is key. Going to bed at the same time each night helps regulate my circadian rhythm, allowing me to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the day ahead. Of course, maintaining this schedule requires discipline, but I am committed to seeing it through. I know that the benefits will far outweigh any initial difficulties I may encounter along the way. In addition, getting enough sleep also plays a crucial role in regulating mood and reducing stress levels. By prioritizing my sleep schedule, I am setting myself up for success in all areas of my life. 

However, I also understand that life is unpredictable, and unexpected events can throw even the best-laid plans off course. Illness, for instance, can disrupt our sleep patterns, leaving us feeling groggy and disoriented. In such cases, it is essential to listen to our bodies and give ourselves the necessary time to recover. Pushing ourselves too hard can lead to burnout and exacerbate existing health issues. It's important to be flexible and adjust our schedules accordingly to ensure we are taking care of our physical and mental well-being. Prioritizing self-care during times of illness can help us bounce back more quickly and return to our normal routines with renewed energy. 

Additionally, it is vital to recognise that everyone's needs are different. What works for me may not work for someone else, and vice versa. Some individuals thrive on minimal sleep, while others require more extended periods of rest to function optimally. Ultimately, we must each determine what sleeping habits serve us best and strive to maintain them consistently. It is also important to listen to our bodies and adjust our sleep patterns as needed, especially during times of stress or illness. Seeking guidance from healthcare professionals can provide valuable insight into how to improve our sleep quality and overall well-being. 

In conclusion, developing a healthy sleep routine has become increasingly important to me as I transition into adult life. By prioritising my sleep hygiene, I aim to cultivate a sense of self-discipline, improve my overall health, and better prepare myself for the challenges that lie ahead. While I acknowledge that achieving this goal will require dedication and perseverance, I am confident that the rewards will be worth the effort. So, as I sit here enjoying my tea supper, I will cherish these quiet moments before retiring to bed, knowing that I am taking yet another step towards becoming the best version of myself.